The Frozen Kingdom

And Then There Were Four

I seem to remember there being another member involved in the prestigious group known only as “The Legionaries.” I think he was some sort of magic user, I’m thinking he looked like a crocodile, and I seem to remember him liking breasts…like a lot. Oh well, this crazy pyramid we’ve been exploring must be taking it’s toll on my mind. That reminds me, I still need to compose a legendary opera about the slaying of the 12 red dragons I did back in Phlan. Man am I awesome…

So yea, this pyramid is crazy, huh? First it’s an ettin, than a Charnal lord, and now we’ve come across magic mirros and mezzodemons!? Who would have thought that!?! (Well, I obviously would have because I think of everything, but who else besides the Awesomely Magnificent Cale Tesla would have thought of that? No one, that’s who!). Anyway, after exploring a few of the different paths that opened up before us after the whole Charnal Lord fiasco (you remember, the one where Growl and Rendar stupidly walked into some trap and almost got themselves killed? Yea, how could you forget that one!?!), I made the executive decision to head toward the area that was slightly more refined than the area that looked like a dirt road (the two areas will henceforth be known as Better Way and Plant Path). I decided to take Better Way because my treasure sense was tingling. That would have to wait though, because we stumbled into a room full of magic mirrors. I knew that they wouldn’t allow us to travel through them, but I tried to get the gnome to jump into one, telling him that I was positive that the supported travel. Before he could make the leap, a fireball was shot out of one of the mirrors! The more important members of the group (Myself (obviously), Growl, and Rendar) bust into an adjoining room to escape any future barrages of fireballs. The gnome decided it would be best for him to examine the mirror some more.

Inside of the room, we came across some demon guys with flaming great swords. They didn’t seem to be too difficult, there were only like 2 or 3 of them anyway. Things got a little complicated when these shadowy guys were able to sneak up on myself and the gnome (obviously sneaking up on the gnome is easy because he’s always distracted, but sneak up on me will you!? This was lunacy!) These bad boys almost put the gnome out of commission and were able to score a few nasty hits on myself. But obviously, the better of us won (myself, duh) and we came onto another room with a flaming skull. The flaming skull surrendered and we crushed him on site. This room had a crystal ball in it that would let spells be channeled through it and out of the mirrors. It was a nifty security device, so we took a quick rest before going on. My treasure sense was still pulling me onward, so I commanded my group forward!

Coming up to the next door, I was able to perceive some thunder and lightning cracking behind it. After peeping in, I observed 4 giant columns that created a lightning cage in the middle, holding a headless body securely in its grasp. The allure of treasure forced my feet in. Once in, that headless Eladrin Orb Growl was carrying around shrieked with glee, saying that we had found her body. Myself, Rendar, and the gnome (as if he was any help here, ha!) decided to push one of the pillars over the see if the lightning cage would break. We succeeded (without Growl’s help I might add) and the cage dissipated. Before myself or the gnome could examine the corpse, Growl rolled the orb over to the body. He said that she was begging him to and that she was starting to annoy him. Man, what a big mistake. I knew what would happen, why couldn’t Growl or he Orb!? The headless body immediately absorbed the orb into its chest and began attacking us (duh)! The orb pleaded us to stop her body but not harm it. I called shenanigans on this and we started to wail on the body, despite the annoyingly increasing pleas from the orb. Rendar hit the orb itself a few times (by accident?) and the pleas increased. I got pissed off at the thing and decided to tumble another column on it. After the gnome and Growl almost blew all of my efforts, we were all luckily able to bring the column down on that bitch. Thankfully. The rest of the battle was in the bag. I was surprised that the gnome was able to actually do something this round because up until know he seems to be kind of useless in the battle area. I’ll make sure to cut him some slack next time.

After that cluster fuck, my treasure allure still was not sated. The next room seemed to almost feed that hunger though. That useless orb informed us that the next room held “many wonderful and powerful magic items, protected by” I stopped listing after that. I busted into the room and was greeted by bone chilling cold. This cold actually assaulted our bodies. Good thing Growl seemed to be immune to the demon that was the cold though because Rendar almost met with the Raven Queen a few times. The cold room held 4 melting crystals, which in turn held 4 chill touch zombies (or some sort of cold zombie, can’t ever be too sure with the undead, I guess I should have payed a bit more attention in religion class). These zombies were not so bad in themselves, but they had this cold aura that would do some crazy damage to our bodies, and the more zombies there were, the colder things got! But like I said, these boys (at least I think they were all male, hard to tell with zombies) were nothing too big for me. The problem came when a mezzodemon walked out of the adjoining room. After some serious negotiating, we decided that it would be best to let the mezzodemon go…for know. Besides, he seemed to have a bone to pick with Karavakos, and as the old saying goes, an enemy of my enemy is my friend, right?

Growl and the orb didn’t like this, but they can get over themselves. The more the mezzodemon kills, the less we have to. Finally, my treasure sense was overwhelming me and pulled me into the next room. Boy was I not let down. I came across some sort of Songblade that resonated with my thunder powers. Needless to say, I can’t wait to try this bad boy out on the next thing that is stupid enough to get in the way of the Awesome and Mighty Cale Tesla, slayer of 12 Red Dragons that plagued the poor village of Phlan, Bane of Zhenghi and his minions, Destroyer of the Charnal lord, vanquisher of ettins, and the half-elf the ladies just can’t resist!

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